It's a beautiful evening,
A dark one indeed,
Just the black blanket spread out,
Spotted with glittering diamonds.
Just you & me,
The biting cold,
But I'm warm inside.
I want to scream,
I want to talk,
But of what?
I feel so complete,
I'm not left out,
I'm by your side,
I'm definitely happy & full of life.
Silence suddenly seems better than words,
Are we on the edge?.. I wonder.
I look into your eyes,
I see them look worried,
But of what?
I speak out.. Is everything okay?
You clasp my hand,
I feel so beautiful,
I look up at you,
And see you have something to say.
Go on, I speak out.
Your a marvel,
A piece of art,
Till you say.. I'm sorry, but we can't go on.
Thousand questions run through my head,
I feel dizzy, had the lightning struck?
I'm not furious though, I just ask you why.
You say, I've got to move on.. Your hindering me.
I'm taken aback, I feel whipped by the cruelty in your words,
I stand there..
Holding you tight, never wanting to let go,
I look up at you,
I realize your a marvel.
I finally speak out, in a tear-filled voice,
What are we doing next?
With no mercy, you say, move on.
You free yourself from my clasp,
You provide no solace, no warmth, no comfort,
You just walk away, leaving me behind.
I gather myself, stand up straight,
And walk aimlessly,
No idea where I was heading,
Filled with your thoughts,
Whipped by your cruelty.
I finally reach home,
Head to my room,
I turn to myself for strength,
Fall on he bed,
Clasp my pillow,
And cry till I fall asleep.
I wake up around mid-night,
And try to wonder what went wrong,
I come up with none,
I tell myself it's over,
And again, cry myself to sleep,
It's my lullaby.
A bright sun,
Wakes me up,
A bustling world,
An optimistic day,
A beautiful lifetime ahead.
I force your thoughts out of my head,
Brush, shower & get dressed,
I walk out a noon,
And walk into the woods,
Where we last met.
Candy wrappers still lay there,
Your abandoned jacket too,
I pick up your jacket,
And tug at it hard,
Till I can feel your warmth.
I suddenly realize your hypocrisy,
I realize your selfishness,
I'm boist with confidence,
I walk upto your home,
4 miles away,
Holding your jacket & letting it sway with the wind.
I reach your doorstep,
Your taken aback to see me,
You ask me to come in,
I peep in & decide I'd rather move.
I speak out.. No, it's okay. Just came to return your jacket. I've got to MOVE ON.
I'm taken aback at what I just said,
You look astonished,
You say.. If you want, maybe.. We could take another chance.
I force a smile, look into your eyes & barely manage to be heard,
But the words come out, strong & confident,
I'm nobody's second choice, baby. You should have made me a priority & not an option.
I see the suprise on your face,
I can feel some joy inside me,
The cruelty of my words whipped you,
Just the way yours whipped me.
I step forward & give you a hug,
The hug lasts a few seconds,
My eyes are teary,
I face you to say the last rites..Goodbye.
You say the same, your words barely audible,
I turn around & walk the route back home.
I keep wondering how,
I could have said those words,
They were painfully strong,
Realistic & practically perfect.
AND! That's just when I realise,
How I said those words,
How I was strong to bear the pain,
How I refused my dream baby's second choice.
Well, it's no secret,
You gave me the strength,
Honey, you were my strength, my happiness & my realms of perfection,
But no longer.