25 November, 2012

Self introspection. :)

I read this questionnaire on Me's blog while going through her archives. She had answered this questionnaire, which she in turn had found on Marc and Angel's website. Check out her wonderful answers here. :)
Her answers inspired me to try this questionnaire for myself.
If you like it, give it a go! :) 

How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are? 
13 years old. I'm childish, but can be mature if the situation demands it. 

Which is worse, failing or never trying? 
Never trying. You don't know what you're good at till you try.

If life is so short, why do we do so many things we don’t like and like so many things we don’t do? 
That's cause we're unwilling to let go of our comfort zone and venture into unknown horizons to realize what we love and do it. 

When it’s all said and done, will you have said more than you’ve done? 
Happens at times, but most of the time no.

What is the one thing you’d most like to change about the world? 
The pace with which we're living life. Stop and smell the flowers (unless you're allergic to them)!

If happiness was the national currency, what kind of work would make you rich? 
Making people smile. 

Are you doing what you believe in, or are you settling for what you are doing?
Doing what I believe in. 

If the average human life span was 40 years, how would you live your life differently? 
Give more love, laugh out loud, make beautiful memories and strike off everything on my bucket list! 

To what degree have you actually controlled the course your life has taken? 
60 degrees. 

Are you more worried about doing things right, or doing the right things? 
Doing the right things. 

You’re having lunch with three people you respect and admire.  They all start criticizing a close friend of yours, not knowing she is your friend.  The criticism is distasteful and unjustified.  What do you do?
Find out the reason why they feel that way about her, give them time to get to know my friend and bridge differences. 

If you could offer a newborn child only one piece of advice, what would it be? 
"Listen to your heart, it knows best." 

Would you break the law to save a loved one? 

Have you ever seen insanity where you later saw creativity? 

What’s something you know you do differently than most people? 
Living life on my own terms and being happy in the moment. 

How come the things that make you happy don’t make everyone happy? 
Happiness is unique to each individual. It's a perspective. :) 

What one thing have you not done that you really want to do?  What’s holding you back?  
Extreme sports. Haven't had the opportunity yet.

Are you holding onto something you need to let go of? 
Holding on to grudges. Sigh forgiveness! 

If you had to move to a state or country besides the one you currently live in, where would you move and why? 
Dubai, it's where I grew up. My childhood filled with memories. Home :) 

Do you push the elevator button more than once?  Do you really believe it makes the elevator faster? 

Would you rather be a worried genius or a joyful simpleton? 
A joyful simpleton! 

Why are you, you? 
Because it's awesome being me. :D I chose to be how I am and where I am. 

Have you been the kind of friend you want as a friend? 
On most matters, yes.  

Which is worse, when a good friend moves away, or losing touch with a good friend who lives right near you? 
Losing touch with a good friend who lives right near you. 

What are you most grateful for? 
Being able to laugh and be happy! 

Would you rather lose all of your old memories, or never be able to make new ones? 
Lose all my old memories. 

Is is possible to know the truth without challenging it first? 
No, I don't think so. 

Has your greatest fear ever come true? 
My greatest fear is the death of my loved ones. It will come true one day, but I don't want it to. I will never be ready for it. 

Do you remember that time 5 years ago when you were extremely upset?  Does it really matter now? 
Don't remember it. 

What is your happiest childhood memory?  What makes it so special? 
Playing in my building with all my friends. Buying Dorito's chips and Flakes chocolate EVERYDAY after school! No wonder I was a fatso. :D It's special cause it was simple act with the capacity to bring immense happiness.

At what time in your recent past have you felt most passionate and alive? 
No, haven't felt that way for quite sometime. 

If not now, then when? 
When I want to.  

If you haven’t achieved it yet, what do you have to lose? 
I'm reminded of a quote by Steve Jobs. 
"Remembering that I’ll be dead soon is the most important tool I’ve ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything — all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure — these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart. 

Have you ever been with someone, said nothing, and walked away feeling like you just had the best conversation ever? 
Yes. It's a wonderful feeling. :) 

Why do religions that support love cause so many wars? 
Intolerance? I'm not sure.  

Is it possible to know, without a doubt, what is good and what is evil?

If you just won a million dollars, would you quit your job? 
I'm not working now. But I'd take the million dollars and continue working! :D 

Would you rather have less work to do, or more work you actually enjoy doing? 
More work I actually enjoy doing.  

Do you feel like you’ve lived this day a hundred times before? 
Yes. I feel that since my final exams started. :|  

When was the last time you marched into the dark with only the soft glow of an idea you strongly believed in? 
In the month of September. Still remember the idea clearly.  

If you knew that everyone you know was going to die tomorrow, who would you visit today?  
Everybody I love. I'd throw a get together party and bond with them all. But if I could meet only a specific number of people, it will be my parents, sister and grandma. I'd definitely meet my three best friends, Akhil, Shali and Abhi.  

Would you be willing to reduce your life expectancy by 10 years to become extremely attractive or famous? 
If I have ten years, I'll use that to become famous. Attractive is a perspective. So no. 

What is the difference between being alive and truly living? 
Being alive is pushing through each day like a zombie waiting for it to end. Truly living is going to bed, waiting for sunrise to experience more of life. :) 

When is it time to stop calculating risk and rewards, and just go ahead and do what you know is right? 
When that's what you want to know. You'll know that feeling. We have nothing to lose by doing what we want. 

If we learn from our mistakes, why are we always so afraid to make a mistake? 
When a goalkeeper misses a goal before quitting his career, do you remember the last goal he missed or the n number of goals he prevented? The world remembers your failures, not your successes. We let the world decide what is right and wrong for us. 

What would you do differently if you knew nobody would judge you? 
Say NO to the things I can't and don't want to tolerate. 

When was the last time you noticed the sound of your own breathing? 
Last night. Fell asleep to its rhythm. :) 

What do you love?  Have any of your recent actions openly expressed this love? 
Writing. Reading. Yes. 

In 5 years from now, will you remember what you did yesterday?  What about the day before that?  Or the day before that? 

Decisions are being made right now.  The question is:  Are you making them for yourself, or are you letting others make them for you? 
Making them for myself and finding out if it is suitable for me through my loved ones.

I had a good opportunity for self introspection while answering these questions! So glad to have found it on Me's blog :)


22 November, 2012

Getting over failure, Wishlist, Things that brighten up my day :)

I had a VERY bad day yesterday. My test went bad, I fought with my mom and I couldn't deal with myself. There was this someone who instantly brightened up my day with her love, concern and wisdom and I truly can't get enough of this beautiful person. Thank you. :)

I just felt that I need to look somewhere and know that I have these things for TLC when I'm down or when I feel like a failure. These things make me smile and feel good inside. And really, I'm trying to realize that failure is a way of life. If you haven't failed enough, you haven't learnt anything. I'm not willing to walk on the safe side, but I will try to not bring failure onto myself.

So the things that brighten up my sad, soggy days..

#1: Texting or talking to wonderful people who care about me

Yup! I have a BB curve ;)

A text that made my day:
"Failure is a way of life to teach us the ways which don't work. Try till you find a new way of making things work. Don't fear it. Otherwise it will scare you more. Hug it with love and it will melt in your love!!!"

All I'll say is hold onto people who love you and NEVER let them go. :)

#2: Watching Castle!

I'm a HUGE fan of this TV series. I love Stana Katic who portrays detective Kate Beckett and Nathan Fillion who acts as writer Richard Castle. Together, they solve murder mysteries :)!
Nothing in the world destresses me as much as this does. I'm craving to lay my hands on a DVD with all the seasons! :D

#3: Reading a book like 'A Bend In The Road' :)

My favorite book :)
I have nothing to say, except please go ahead and read this wonderful book. Nicholas Sparks weaves a story like he has never before.

#4: Watching/Reading 'A Walk To Remember'

My life just gets better when I read this book or watch this movie. It teaches me more about life, love, living in the present, hope and faith. I'm a HUGE Nicholas Sparks fan. :)

#5: Spending time with someone who understands me


Do I even need to say anything? :)

#6: Playing word games

'Cause I don't know to play Sudoku. ;)

#7: Blowing and bursting bubbles!

Bubbles; let's burst them!
 How cute are they! Takes me back to my childhood. Sweet memories :))

#8: Cooking!!

Hehe I cook like that :P
I'm quite a good cook! Really! :D
I love making desserts and vegetable manchurian is my favorite food!!

#9: Sleeping

Sleep well :)
Sleep rejuvenates. Sleep makes you wake up to a brighter day. It makes one think clearly and feel more in control of yourself. Sleep eight hours every night and feel the difference.

#10: Knowing that life is too short to spend worried

My BB wallpaper ;)
 It says all and more than I want to say! :)

Well.. That's about me, how I destress and get over failure. Another thing I do is brood, cry my heart out, dwell over it and think it thoroughly. I think of how to never repeat it again. :)

So what do you do to get over failure?

03 November, 2012

A month's break. :(

I'm going to be taking a writing break for a couple of days from today. My semester exams are just round the corner! I have six exams that will be happening through the whole of November. As much as I would like to blog everyday, it seems like a Herculean task. Covering 30 units in a month, each unit spanning 200 pages and 'n' number topics makes me feel like I want to faint!
I'll be checking out all the wonderful posts by my dear blogger friends. :)
But writing on my blog is not really going to happen till I get inspiration and time on my hands. If I write now, I'll have to write out only my anxieties and how stressed out I am!

P.S: This is applicable for all three blogs of mine.

So till I blog again next time,

Take care,

Love and happiness,

02 November, 2012

55 fiction.

I couldn’t decide what to do. I didn’t know what was the right thing to do. Life had played many harsh jokes on me. I had ceased to mean anything to those I loved. The man whom I so dearly loved didn’t recognize my love. Life was cruel to me.
The tring of my phone broke my string of thoughts. It was Jason.

"Hey Isha, hope you're doing good. I was wondering.. if we could meet up for coffee tomorrow if you're free."

I stepped off the parfait wall and smiled. The sun shined on my face. Life was starting to get better.

  Jason's dialogue courtesy: Akhil Nair (thank you!) :)

01 November, 2012

Thank you for the Award :))

Thank you.

Thank you for the award, Ashwathy. It's nice to know that people like your work!! :))

Before I can accept the award, I will have to answer some quirky questions that she had asked on her blog. I will also have to pass on the award to as many people as possible!

It's great that I've got my third award! Thank you again!! :)

Here goes my attempt at answering her questions..

1. Where did the name for your blog come from?
I've always wanted people who visit my blog to not end up as visitors. I've wanted them to read and enjoy my work. I've wanted them to remember my blog and come back to it as and when life permits. Hence the name, 'A Blog To Remember'. :)

2. What are five things that are closest to you now?
Five things that I am attached to would be my books, my journal and my blogs. No amount of racking is bringing two other things to my mind! :D

3. Whom did you last message and what?
I haven't messaged anybody for the last two days. Blame it on my semester practicals!!

4. Name one thing that you have/would like to have on your bucket list.
I couldn't bring down my bucket list to specific things in one-liners, that's why I started a separate blog. People who talk too much can't write less huh? ;) But something that tops my list would be my own house with the interiors designed myself.

5. If you become a multimillionaire overnight, what would you buy?
A plot, an architect, a civil engineer, build my house, an interior decoration artist and tada! House ready. ;) So.. Which night am I getting my millions? ;)

6. If you could live anywhere in the world, where would you live?
Hands down, home. Wherever my home so happens to be. Home is where the heart is.

7. You are given your birth certificate and a chance to change your name. What would you do, change your name or let it be the same?
Let it be the same. I don't think people who call me with my 'current' name will change to a 'new' name so easily.

8. Imagine someone describing you to a stranger, what would they say?
I have an embarrassing moment attached to this one. It so happened that my mom came to my school looking for me. School had shut down half-day due to the cyclone. My sweet mom had come to pick me up. She had asked a guy whom she knew that I was friends with if he had seen me. There were two people with the same name as me in school. That guy did not know she was my mom and asked her, 'Which one are you asking for? The talkative, hyper personality or the silent chaos creator?' Haha. So now you know how people would describe me! Talkative, hyperactive, can-never-shut-up-even-if-the-world-ends female. :D

9. Morning person or night owl?
I have no clue. I have both my share of days. There are times when I sleep around 6PM and get up by 1AM (like today) making me a morning person. There are also those kind of days where I sleep for four to five hours in the afternoon and stay awake till 5AM. It all depends on when I sleep.

10. Lastly, what would be your favorite honeymoon destination?
A world tour. I'd love to take a year off and travel the world with my better half. A trip to renew hope, taste experience, make memories, feel love and gain spirituality.

Thank you once again! I loved answering your questions. Hope you enjoy reading my answers. :)

I just gave out awards to two people, so I don't know if it is okay to pass on another award to them. If it is, then the Liebster award goes to..

Me of Privy Trifles
Ashna Banga of Pages from a Young Diary
Rinku Moni of MoSaiC

I have no questions to pose to Ashna and Me, as they had just been posed with a couple of questions when they accepted my award. I'd like Rinku to answer the same questions as them. Here it is, hope you enjoy answering them!

#1: Which post that you have written on your blog is your most favorite of all and why?

#2: Which post that I have written on my blog is your favorite and why?

#3: How would you define love, hope, faith and life in a sentence?

#4: What is that one thing that you cannot tolerate in a person?

#5: What defines YOU in one word?

#6: If we were to meet somewhere out of the blue, what would you say to me? How would you identify me, if you had to approach me and confirm that it is AaeKay indeed!?

#7: Do you believe that people are allowed to break your heart in a relationship? (I know we trust them not to.)

#8: What is one thing that you love about yourself? 

#9: How productive are you? What do you follow in order to be productive? (This is because I'm trying hard to become productive; not working!)

#10: How did you come across my blog and what was your first thought about my blog and me?

Congratulations Ashna, Rinku and Me! :))

And once again.. Thanks Ashwathy.

31 October, 2012

55 fiction.

Arup and I were standing in the balcony, enjoying the sight. It was breathtakingly stunning.
Its structure, sporting a new trend, yet looking very beautiful. Arup pointed in the same direction and said, "I love the looks of that one, I've never seen one looking so unique and amazing."
He was absolutely right. It was the color of grass and a shade of yellow so unique, that I couldn't instantly identify it. It was transparent and reminded me of stained glass windows.

Aaaaaaaaah, the joys of watching colorful umbrellas during the monsoon.

30 October, 2012

55 fiction.

I watch as their bodies sway to the sound of music. I wonder how they are so much in sync. I look on from my spot at the bar, holding my drink, wishing Akhil and I could get back together. His hands clench her waist and their eyes meet. I am invading their privacy, screams my inner voice. I watch them lock lips. I let go of the breath I have been holding in. My eyes are moist.

I leave my unfinished drink and walk out, thinking of that line he always told me.. You will be the only love in my life. 

29 October, 2012

55 fiction.

I glanced sideways and realized that he was still staring at me. It made me uncomfortable, but he didn't seem to notice. I wanted to stand up for myself, but didn't want to attract attention in the process. But the final blow came when he said to me one day, "You are beautiful, but stop dressing up like this."

The man who had ogled at my breasts everyday through the six yard wonder felt he could control the way I chose to dress.

28 October, 2012

55 ficiton.

Everybody said I wouldn't make it through. The odds of beating it was close to nil. My closest support system let me down. They felt that I was slowly becoming a corpse. They didn't want to contaminate their lives by being a part of mine. But they never understood the reasons behind my action. I had a family to take care of; I was the sole breadwinner. Nobody gave me a job and I didn't see another way.
As I slowly watch my life fade away, I know I lived it to the best I could. I was a sex worker, now affected with HIV, who volunteered her dreams to give her siblings the best in life.

27 October, 2012

55 fiction. :)

One look into her eyes and I knew what she was pleading for. Inspite of the rain, she had come into the bar with a child in her arms. She seemed frail and weak, but the baby was chubby and happy. He seemed to enjoy the atmosphere of the bar. I felt guilt. I felt grief. But I was leading a happier life with a beautiful woman now.

I turned around and walked into the rain, relieved she had never asked for a DNA test.

P.S: This is my very first try at 55 fiction! I'd love to know what you guys think of it. :) I was in double minds whether to post it or not. I've read 55 fiction on Me's blog and it inspired me to give it a shot! :)

22 October, 2012

Your opinion? No, thank you.

Given by everyone,
About everything,
How experienced really is one,
To give out their opinion?

How do you know,
If an opinion is worthy to be followed,
Does it become an advice?
Why do we have to say,
On everything,
When nothing would suffice?

Is it about having a stand on an issue?
Or is it having a view?
Does it imply,
That one has done 'serious thinking'?
Or is it random words strung together,
Hoping to make some sense?

An opinion,
Isn't right,
Isn't wrong,
It's a view,
Or a judgement passed,
Not necessarily based on fact,
Not quite based on knowledge,
Indeed words strung together,
Trying to prove one's 'mettle'.

Why pass an opinion,
When you haven't walked in the other person's shoes?
Why have a say on everything under the sun?
Why talk about things that don't bother or affect you?

Being blessed with a sixth sense,
Was not to dish-dash about unnecessary things,
It was to form an opinion,
It was to voice what you feel,
But only when the situations requires it.

Oh! I see many matters in question,
And even more opinions,
I truly now wonder,
Who asked them to voice their opinion,
When they haven't been there,
At that moment,
In time.

Be knowledgeable about everything under the sun,
Let your wisdom have no boundaries,
Let your thoughts flow,
Let your experiences carve you,
Live your life,
Form opinions about everything that matters to you,
But for all that I care,
Keep those opinions to yourself,
Until and unless asked for.

P.S: This poem was written in an emotionally unstable state. I generally sort out my emotions and then start writing, but today I just had an urge to pen down what I felt. I haven't thought about what I'm writing. A blank page isn't pleasing to the eye and this is what I could come up with, in the state I am now. 
If one really wants to voice their opinions all the time, start a blog or join a newspaper as an advice columnist. Somebody will read it and you'd find like-minded people.

Sorry for the sarcasm.

Thoroughly pissed,

I'm giving out awards! :)

I've been following quite a lot of blogs and try to catch up on reading all of them as and when time permits. From all those blogs that I do follow, there are two blogs that have left an impact on me. Those two bloggers have become my dear friends and I cannot skip reading their blogs. If there are no updates, I atleast read through their archives! :D

I wanted to show my appreciation and love for these fellow bloggers. They've become such an integral part of my life, that I cannot imagine not reading their work anymore! They comment on every post I write and leave constructive criticism. From how much I know them, they're very humble, grateful and always fun to talk to!

To know who they are, read on. :)

#1: The POSITIVE BLOG award to the wonderful Ashna Banga! :) 

It's raining awards for her and she really deserves each and every one that she gets! A wonderful writer who loves being behind the lens, a book addict, a management student, a person who believes that she was born in the wrong century and a very big foodie (she claims so)! :D
Every post that you read on her blog will leave you feeling refreshed, positive and with a smile on your face! She has the wonderful talent of putting out even her frustrations in a positive manner.
A person who leaves me puzzled when she claims that she cannot write poems. A person with a wonderful attitude, who really knows what the most valuable things in life are. She isn't about money, public image or career, but about those small things that we very often overlook and underestimate.

Let's hear it for this bubbling personality please!

#2: The EXPRESSIVE WRITER award to the charming Me!

An absolutely amazing writer whose observations about things in life will astonish you and take your breath away! A very passionate person whose love for writing is perceivable in every post she pens down. Her simple, yet eloquent method of writing will leave with a thirst to read more of her works. If there's one thing this charming and beautiful lady can't get enough of, it's love! She's a diehard romantic and all her love stories have a whiffle of fantasy and flutter of reality. :)
Every single post of hers has the power to compel you to leave a comment, no matter how busy one is. Her writings always strike a chord, touch that soft spot in your heart and linger on in your subconscious mind. She has no fears about showing her true self on her blog; she holds it very close to her heart. Love is her first name and gratitude is indeed her second.
A person whose writing will always leave you feeling a roller coaster of emotions!
She's been my rock support through my tough times, helped me do the right things when I've been lost and heard/read my chitter-chatter and responded to it with patience and love. She holds a very special place in my heart and even if we ever happen to move apart (NO! *touch wood*), she will  always be a person I can call my best friend. ♥

Congratulations Ashna and Me!! :)

But before you flaunt the award on your blog, answer the following questions! :D

#1: Which post that you have written on your blog is your most favorite of all and why?

#2: Which post that I have written on my blog is your favorite and why?

#3: How would you define love, hope, faith and life in a sentence?

#4: What is that one thing that you cannot tolerate in a person?

#5: What defines YOU in one word?

#6: If we were to meet somewhere out of the blue, what would you say to me? How would you identify me, if you had to approach me and confirm that it is AaeKay indeed!?

#7: Do you believe that people are allowed to break your heart in a relationship? (I know we trust them not to.)

#8: What is one thing that you love about yourself? 

#9: How productive are you? What do you follow in order to be productive? (This is because I'm trying hard to become productive; not working!)

#10: How did you come across my blog and what was your first thought about my blog and me?

I hope you guys have a good time answering the questions! I had a great time racking my brains for questions! :D

Congratulations again and I'm really looking forward to reading your wonderful answers!!


03 October, 2012

Suicide is NEVER a solution.

Stillness in the air,
As I enter the street,
A gloomy disposition,
A downcast mood,
Miserable residents stay in a house,
For their son had taken his life away.

Love failure,
A reason that didn't deserve a life,
A problem that would have had a solution,
But life was thrown away,
Its infinitesimal value unknown to the common man.

How can something so cruel,
With the capacity to snatch away a life,
Be called love?
Was it selfishness, was it jealousy,
Was it overexpectations?
Nobody will ever know,
For the problem has been buried,
Ever since the heart ceased to beat.

Is unconditional,
Giving and forgiving,
A bridge to good things in life,
And a barrier to none,
Dreams flourish,
Goals with visions are set,
Potentials are unleased,
And the true self is awakened.
That is love.

Suicide can never be justified,
Leave a note or record a speech before you die,
Let the reason be debt or the reason be enstrangled ties,
Let it be love, let it be hatred,
Let it be loneliness, let it be a dead end,
But the reason is indeed a mere shadow,
When the sun rises and reaches its peak,
When the problem reveals its intricacies and therefore its flaws,
There, one will see a solution,
And the solution will NEVER be suicide.


01 October, 2012

Does a SORRY suffice?

In this fight, nobody wins or loses. You apologize and go on or learn a lesson for life. You either fight with your ego or compromise with your love. At times, you are aware of being wrong, but something stops you from admitting it. You wish you had never messed up. You can't see another way but letting go, but the heart holds on. What if you know that you're at fault, but can't admit it?

Painkillers don't lessen the pain that you feel. They work for a prick, not a stab. Every word that you say makes a lot of difference in a relationship. They are the foundation to your actions and if they are true and honest, nothing can damage the building. What if every word stabs you in the heart and all you want to do is rewind?

Rewind. The past holds all the mistakes and errors you committed. There was no regret about any of those acts till they were laid out for you to read. All you want to do is take them back, but there is no way to. You could promise to never repeat them, but who will trust you?

Why do the mistakes you make in life always take the limelight? Why are your failures the topic of discussion? Why are flaws enlarged so much and critically analyzed? No wonder the media industry runs on blowing up murders, rapes and such crimes. Our brain reacts to the bad actively. The good just have passive reactions.

How many times have you wished that you could just disappear off the face of the planet? How many times have you felt ashamed of what you did? How many times have you wanted to wipe off the past and start on a clean slate, only to not be granted that opportunity? How often did you wish you could get a hug and a nod, stating the other person understood you were wrong? Did those actions ever heal the void your mistakes created? Didn't it feel better than blowing up and listing out mistakes?

When you were wrong in a relationship and hurt the other person in ways immeasurable, but never intended to do so, does a sorry suffice? What if the guts to be wrong was there, but the guts to admit that you were wrong doesn't come up? Will you let go of the relationship to stroke your ego or hold on hoping that one day, you will come to terms with the other person, no, yourself?

The mind rushes forward. It is occupied by the stress of the surroundings, by the worry of upcoming tests and things that are material, but the heart doesn't cease to feel how wrong it was. Each beat feels like it lasts for eons. It longs for a touch that says, "I'm here" or a hug that says "I love you." Actions do speak louder than words. I truly understood that today.

What is the foundation of a good relationship? Communication? Love? Physical contact? Attraction? Fidelity? Loyalty? TRUST? Affection? I learnt today that all these give birth to a good relationship, but the base is trust, honesty and fidelity. Yes, and I truly lack in one of those departments.

I couldn't say any of this to your face, I'm not that gutsy. I'm a coward and egoistic when it comes to admitting my mistakes. Well, you have your theories. And your damn right, your not a fool. I am. I didn't know what I was thinking when I said all that I said. Maybe, I'm more flawed than everyone around. But, I've never learned a lesson the easy way. Moral Science lessons were never for me. Experience taught me and molded me to whom I am today. And this is will be the worst experience that taught me the greatest lesson I have ever learnt and I can't thank you enough for that.

No, I don't want your forgiveness, I don't want your love, I don't wish for you to accept me with a hug and a smile, I don't want to mean the world to you like I did, but I really hope that you don't hate me. I hope that you don't ask me anything more about the past. I hope you don't dig further and make the void bigger, let me nurse the wounds I inflicted on me, let me understand the depth to which I hurt you, let me know how wrong I was and let me never relive this experience. I can't face you anymore till I forgive myself, but I can't thank you enough for molding me into an honest, truthful and a stronger individual.

Relationships are like glass. Once they're shattered, you can never fix them back. You can use feviglue or any adhesive, but the cracks will always be visible. The only solution? Replace it with a new glass.

I'm sorry. I mean it from the deepest of my heart. I wish we NEVER talk about any part of the episode that passed, cause I still don't have the courage to admit my faults.


13 September, 2012

Thankful for an award that gave me.. Happiness! ♥

Today, my favorite blogger Me gave me the Liebster Blog award!
I was so overjoyed to get my second award. After a bad day, it felt like sunshine peeping through rain clouds. :)

Well.. I need to answer a few questions that Me has posed me with.

So here it goes!

1. Define yourself in one word.

2. If you could choose to stay a certain age forever, what age would it be?

I love growing older. I love the mark of wisdom and those facial features that age to mark experience. But if I really had to choose, it would be 37. Just like how it sounds! :D

3.  If you knew the world was ending in 2012, what would you do differently?
I hope to do something that would be a legacy for future generations to come. The world will never end; it will be a new beginning. 

4. If you could witness any event past, present or future, what would it be?

The creation and evolution of the world. The death of Steve Jobs. My shaadi? ;)

5. If you could be any fictional character, who would you choose?


6. If you got a magic wand and could change only one thing, what would that be?
I would change all sorrow in the world into happiness.

7. If you could ask your future self one question what would it be?
Why did you fail to put in your best effort in whatever you did? 

8. What is your most prized possession? Why?

Materialistically, it is the journals that I have written from my tenth grade. It captures all emotions and feelings involved in growing up. But otherwise, I would say my family, my best friends and my faith are my most prized possessions. They mean the world to me.

9.  What is the one thing you feel is most misunderstood?
Love. The reason is that it is seen as a tit for tat game, where every act is matched by another. It has become very close to bar-tending and it is not often that you see relationships with no expectations, but just pure, unselfish love.

10.  One thing you would like to tell Me?
Keep writing! And a gesture too.. Hugs! :)

answering your questions Me!! Hope you enjoy reading them as much as I enjoyed answering them!
Thanks a ton for the award! :) 

I'm tagging the following bloggers with the Liebster Award:

God Made Me FUNKY! :D

Direct Dil Se
Fade To Black

Here are some random questions for you guys!

1. How would someone describe you to a stranger?
2. Is there anywhere in the world you want to go and anywhere you don't want to go? 
3. What or who you inspires you the most?
4. What was the last good deed that you did?
5. What do you do to destress?
6. What's the funniest thing that has happened to you?
7. Where do you see yourself ten years down the line?
8. What is one quote that you live by?
9. Which book has made the biggest impact in your life and how?
10. What's the most rewarding thing about being a blogger?

Congrats guys, thanks Me and all of you remember.. Sometimes happiness comes in small packages! :)

11 September, 2012

Whose Fault Is It?

A thought that struck me while writing today's exam..

What the world looks at is your marks. Those numbers on your final certificate matter more than your knowledge and how well you studied for the exam. Is it because of our emphasizing on marks that causes people to indulge in malpractice? Is the temptation of a few more numbers so high that we are willing to give up on right and wrong? The outcome of this is a larger number on your certificate and zilch knowledge regarding the topic in your head.

So what is it really worth?
And whose fault is it here; the institute's for only emphasizing on marks or the students' for a lack of self discipline and interest in the subject?

09 September, 2012

Random Thoughts.. Speculations, Ideas and More.

You know those days where you wake up on the right side of the bed, have a hearty breakfast and start the day with optimism, but when the days ends and you look back only to realize that the only happy moments were what happened in the morning?
You decide to put it back and continue with your life. You value peace so much and all you want is a day filled with joy. Yet, that parasite never lets go of you and continues to blind you in the unexpected times. Face the problem and it will vanish. But what if it is betrayal, a broken trust, longing for more love, which truly remains unaccomplished after facing it?
What if you wake up every morning wanting to detach your body and soul, heart and mind? What if everyday all you want is to smile without pretense, without worries; love without limits and experience unconditional love, but all you get is a feeling of loneliness?
Do you smile through it all or do you sort it out and smile? Do you love despite the pain? Do you wish for better times or go ahead and create them?
The need to be loved doesn't cease with receiving love; it ceases by giving love. But what if love goes unrecognized? What if it isn't needed by the other? What if all you want is love and that is all you don't receive? Concern, wishes, happiness and conversations expressed are different from love.
What if you know the kind of love you crave for, but can't define it? What if you feel what you receive is inadequate? What if it arouses feelings of insecurity? Will you go ahead and try to explain your way of deciphering love or accept what you get as genuine love?
How many relationships do you really value in your life? How many strangers have become closer to you than your family? How many friends have walked in and out of your path? Why do we still hope? Why do we believe in love? In happiness? In sorrow? In perspectives? In feel good emotions? And in life itself?
Faith is one thing that keeps my life going. The words that I say, using it to converse with my God, form my prayer. My God is my best friend. I used to remember Him only in times of trouble, but this episode has instilled a strong sense of faith and the omnipresence of God in me. I know He is always watching out for me, smiling at my speculations and widening my horizons. I know He loves me more than any mortal being can and that nothing will ever go wrong with Him on my side. I trust in Him, I fight with Him, I talk to Him, I know that there is nothing in this world that can be so much mine as He is.
Isn't love a kind of faith? Isn't it expressed differently by everyone? Isn't it meant to enrich our lives, then why do we pollute love with impurities? Love with faith, for faith itself only starts by expressing love to Him.

14 August, 2012

Blogathon Post #13: Do you realize love after it's gone?

It was expressed,
In words and actions,
But hardly did I ever recognize it,
Value and appreciate I did,
But never understood how much it meant to me.

Chocolates and flowers,
I love you's and I miss you's,
Never did I pay much heed,
Till one day they ceased to be heard from you.

I don't know where things went wrong,
I don't know how to express my love for you,
I wish I could show you how much you mean to me,
But I don't know if a simple hug would do.

I love you in every possible way,
More each day,
Never move away from me,
Always this relationship,
I want to sustain,
For you are in my every happiness,
A pillar through every trouble,
And yes indeed,
My realms of perfection.

Blogathon Post #12: A Truckload of Memories, Life Lessons and Fun! :)

A day well lived is one where you have learnt something and enjoyed yourself. I feel like a took a step towards my goal yesterday and I had a blast with my friends!
Yesterday, my three friends and I went on a trip to Orient Flight School in Pondicherry. I got up at 4am, got ready and left home by 5:30am. Inspite of not being an early riser, I was so excited about the day ahead. I sent innumerable texts to my three friends and we were ready to meet at my college around 6:30am. I called up my best friend, who went crazy at being woken up at 6am, to come and collect my assignment and wave us goodbye! Well, I was about excited on meeting him at college so early and I felt happy about being a responsible student!
We left from college towards Pondicherry around 6:45am and the chit-chat started there! We chatted about many funny incidents from each of our lives, teased each other, binged on coca cola, biscuits and chocolates and had so much fun! We had a smooth journey till we reached a place called Marakannam. There was a strike going on there due to water shortage. We were supposed to reach the Flight School by 9:30am, but we were sure to be delayed due to the strike. We spent about half an hour waiting for the strike to get cleared, but when the police arrived, they insisted on giving protection to the strikers than clearing them. So we were forced to take an alternate route, which would add an extra 20kms to our travel! There were also speculations of bad roads, no sign boards and such. But, if you'd ask me, I'd say the journey through that area was tough, but the roads were not too bad. This obstacle added forty minutes to our already long journey.
The path of our journey, the sights we crossed during travel was beautiful. It was quiet and peaceful, breath-taking views and lots of lessons were learnt. We crossed around 33 villages in our course of travel. That lone temple on top of a mountain, the evaporation of sea water to produce salt, watching villagers pack salt to send to factories for purification, watching two mountains merge into a V-shape, coconut trees that grew in haphazard fashions at various angles (even 180 degrees!), the scars of a tsunami stricken village, the backwaters of two oceans, an estuary that had salt deposited on its sides, old people praying in small temples, the sound of children playing, the joy in children's eyes when they saw a car pass by, the roots of old banyan trees, trees whose leaves merged together to make it seem like you were under a bridge, the peeping of sunlight through closely knit leaves.. I can go on and on.
I have always associated villages to power cuts, water shortages, lack of amenities and such. But it was yesterday that my assumptions saw the truth. Yes, they suffered more troubles than the urban dweller, but their happiness was none short of blissful. You could see the innocence in their eyes, smell freshness in the air and the taste of a stress free life. You could see men laugh out loud, women gossiping, children playing, birds chirping, there was chaos. It was sublime, subtle chaos. Everybody seemed to have all the time in the world. Children went to their local school, men produced salt or maintained farms, women made local handicrafts. The charm exuded by the villages that I passed through made me see beauty in simplicity and love in hardship. Indeed, a valuable lesson learnt in the joy of just being alive..
After passing through many such places, we finally reached our destination at 10am. We finished all the formalities and the object of love for all four of us was in front of our eyes. An aircraft. A beast with immeasurable power. Analog indicators, digital indicators, six cylinder engines, eight cylinder engines, wow.. Four seater aircrafts that exuded power and class. We learnt the different types of flying and got to try our hand at it too! Amazing would not do justice to the experience that we had.
After spending about three hours there, the main purpose of the journey had come to an end. We were ready to leave, only stopping to have yummy lunch at a local restaurant. No sightseeing, for the journey had tired us. We had fun chatting and listening to music on our way back. It was a great day, one that will be in my box of memories forever. One that will probably hit me on the day I hold the joystick on starting my training again. One that will probably come back to me when I receive my commercial pilot license or when I make my first flight with a 'truckload' of passengers. My goal seemed distant and unreachable a few days ago, it seemed difficult and even scared me, it clenched my heart when I thought of what would happen in case I didn't achieve my goal. But now I know.. My goal is close by, a few more footsteps is all I have to take, a few more years is all I have to wait, for what is worthy of being achieved doesn't come easily.. You strive for it. :)
Yesterday's experience made me stronger and braver, happier and more grateful about all that life offers me. Now, I know why I am truly blessed; in happiness and joy, in fear and despair, in sadness and sorrow, I have many many things to hold onto.

Yesterday afternoon, I got a text from a friend with whom I hadn't been in touch for over a year. I was elated reading what the text said and made a mental note to truly make time to reach out to those who care about me.
The text said,
"It's been more than a year since we met and over six months since we spoke, but even today, when I hear someone laugh out loud, without inhibition, without worry, I think of you. Thank you for teaching me to laugh and be happy. I love you girl!"

I met this friend of mine when her life was at its worst. She taught me to see the beauty of life and I taught her to laugh her troubles away. When all we had wanted was each other's company, we had unknowingly taught each other life lessons that we would follow in the years to come. :) You'll never know what a person is worth, you'll never know how well you've lived life, but if you laugh and smile everyday; help a person genuinely, without expectations everyday, know that you lived your life well. :)

12 August, 2012

Blogathon Post #11: Small Beautiful Things In Life That I Love! :)

- Inside jokes between friends.

- Popping bubble wrap!

- Enjoying 'me time' without anybody bothering you.

- The fresh smell of the earth after a rainstorm.

- Waking up from a nightmare and realizing that it's not true.

- When you randomly get to know a nice person, who you enjoy talking to through a word game! :)

- The smell of really nice perfume.

- The smell of roasted coffee beans.
- When you sacrifice so much, work hard and get more than what you deserve.

- That long comfortable silence shared between loved ones.

- Star gazing.

- Talking with a friend who makes you laugh!

- Telling someone how much you appreciate them.

- Watching a baby sneeze.

- The simplicity of childhood.

- When someone is genuinely happy and proud of you and tells you so.

- Cookie dough!

- Chocolate ganache!

- When someone wakes up really early just to meet you for a few seconds.

- Love that has surpassed the tides of time.

- Excitement of swinging on a swing.

- Making plans for a trip that is months away.

- Pillow fights!

- A beach that connects two main oceans.

- An unexpected compliment.

- A photograph that takes you into past memories.

- The unique sound of the gate creaking when my Dad returns home after a long trip.

- Tears of joy.

- Making weird faces in the mirror!

- Bittersweet emotions on the last day of first year of college.

- The sound of the thunder, the flash of lightning and the smell of rain to remind you of the beauty of nature.
- Waking up, realizing it's weekend and falling asleep again.
- No morning days, when you wake up after 12pm.
- Hugs!

Life is shorter than you think. You never know if there really is going to be a tomorrow. Do what you can do tomorrow today. My best friend promised to listen to me narrate the whole episode of my first flying experience. It's my first flying class tomorrow and he's no longer around. I lost him to cancer, when he was only 19.  It's a very emotional moment for me and I miss him like hell. Sixteen years of laughing unnecessarily, sixteen years of making goals and dreams, sixteen years of finishing each other's sentences. Its been six months now, I've learnt to live life large without him. But that void in my heart? Oh, that will never be filled. Life live when you've got the time to live it.

Blogathon Post #10: Aahatein. ♥

With every step that you take,
The closer you come towards me,
The feeling of satisfaction,
The desire to achieve,
The beauty of winning,
For I am the GOAL you seek.

With every breath you breathe,
You pray and wish,
For better things indeed,
Every turning moment,
I'm unnoticed, but by your side,
For I am HOPE indeed.

With every tear that drops,
With every pit in the journey of life,
Whenever you feel that you've been pushed down,
I only motivate,
For I am FAILURE that drives you forward.

With every song that you hear,
In my praise,
For every moment you think of me,
But fail to notice my presence,
Be certain that I'm always by your side,
Protecting and guiding you,
For I am the LORD you pray to.

With every kind act you do,
With every happiness you perceive,
With sadness and joy I fill your life,
Ups and downs I provide,
To life,
For I am the LOVE in the relationships you cherish.

For life is lived,
By every FOOTSTEP you take,
Towards everything you need,
Towards everything you want,
And ingrained it shall be,
In your heart,
Just like FOOTSTEPS in wet cement.

P.S: This is a part of yesterday's blogathon. I'm undergoing a lot of stress lately and as usual, have lost that fine thread called 'balance' that keeps my life in one piece! 
And to those who don't know Hindi, Aahatein means footsteps! :) 

Seeking forgiveness,

10 August, 2012

Blogathon Post #9: Is home where you live or is it where your heart is?

Why is it that my throat chokes and my heart aches when I have to leave Dubai? Why doesn’t it happen when I go on a vacation to any other place? Why do I crave to go back there and lead that high-comfort, luxurious life? Why do I miss the infrastructure, the cleanliness and the high-end life? Well.. Is that all I miss? Do I really miss the place because of what it is?  Or do I miss the place because of the memories it contains? It is the place where I spent my childhood. Eight years of a blessed, fun-filled childhood.  It is the place where my Dad works. It is him I miss. It is the memories I have with him and my loved ones that I miss.
Dubai is a special place to me. It is closest to my heart.  My heart swells with happiness and pride when I see how much the place has developed. Yes, this is not my hometown. This is not the place where I was born. It is not here my roots belong. But this is the place that adopted me when I was a kid. It is here I started to discover the world. My world. I made my first friends here, pushed across boundaries, discovered my capabilities, succeeded in academics, refined my leadership skills, sailed through obstacles, stuck to my culture, yet also adopted to a new culture and background. 
Dubai has taught me the value of friendship, truth, freedom and definitely, fun! It laid the foundation for my character and attitude. The people around me and of course, I am solely responsible for who I am today. Dubai taught me to enjoy and try new things (especially at Al Hashmi building!). It taught me to take certain things lightly and others seriously. It defined ‘me’.
As I left Dubai, I left a part of me behind. A part that will live in people’s memories. All of us have touched many people’s lives and left a mark in their memories. So have I.
Dubai will always be my world; the land that defined me and taught me so much that can never be listed. Dubai will always be equal to my friends, family and loved ones. Dubai, you are my first home.

Thank you Mom and Dad for all the experiences, memories and for molding me. 
Miss you Dad!
Love you both!

09 August, 2012

Blogathon Post #8: Do you crib or do you learn life lessons?

There have been days,
When the Lord has been far too kind,
Such that at the end of the day,
Grateful I am,
For all I experienced,
For all the happiness I felt,
For all the lessons I learnt,
And for the ways in which I grew.

Days I have been through,
When I felt that the world was conspiring against me,
That nothing more could go wrong,
Hit I had rock bottom,
And more often than not,
Succumbed to the pain of bad times.

It was on one such day,
When nothing went my way,
And tears welled up in my eyes,
That I realized,
A choice there was!
Events will happen,
Good and bad,
Face them or ignore them,
They will still exist,
But face them,
With a steel-iron attitude,
And bad shall be vanquished,
For in our attitude,
Lies victory,
And defeat too.

Every good day,
Shall be followed with a bad day,
It is not to ruin one's happiness,
It is not for Him to rejoice in your failure,
Or a moment to feel incapable;
A test it is indeed,
To see the level of gratitude you express,
To feel the strength you possess,
To watch you walk with your head held high,
And face the problem in the eye,
For the Lord shall never give thou,
What one cannot handle,
What one cannot withstand;
All you need to understand,
Is life is not lived in years,
Life is not lived by being merry forever,
It is lived day by day, minute by minute;
Creating memories when the time is right,
And learning life lessons when the time is 'wrong'. :)

P.S: I had a bad outlook towards bad moments in life. I could never fathom why things couldn't go my way all the time. It wasn't until my fifth grade teacher intervened, pointed out my mistake and gently explained to me what I doing wrong that I gradually changed myself. I love her for that. She is no longer in my life, but the mark that she left in it will never, ever go away. She will always be a part of my memories. :) Sometimes, people who are there with us for a season teach us more valuable lessons than those who are always with us, by our side. :)

Blogathon Post #7: A Quote.

"Words are, of course, the most powerful drug used by mankind."

Words motivate, they form and break bonds, they enhance the value of life. A few kind words have the potential to turn a person's life around. To cure bipolar depression and suicidal tendencies, the hope and faith required to live life is restored using words. The worth of a person's life is determined by the words he uses in his everyday life. If his words contain kindness, spread happiness and love, inspire and motivate, he has lived a life useful to people. Words can make or break a person. Choose your words carefully, for they form your sentences. Your sentences form your character, which makes you the person you are. Thus, words are definitely the most precious possessions humanity will have for eternity.

What are your thoughts on the quote? I'd love to know!

P.S: Nope, I didn't miss the blogathon. I reached home at 9pm, cause there was so much traffic. Four hours of travel in my dingy, college bus made me numb and tired as hell. So I got up at 3:30am to post! Wow.. I have a lot to complain about! My life is just.. weird. And sad.


07 August, 2012

Blogathon Post #6: Maggi in a Pressure Cooker? :D

Is it possible..
For the height of craziness to cross all horizons?
For a person to become so insane..
That simple cooking is forgotten?
If your answers are no,
Listen to this story!

I know this guy,
Madly insecure,
Or obsessed with his dreams,
I ain't aware,
But his height of craziness,
Unequalled and unparalled,
It shall remain,
In all future ages to come!

For he makes a two minute dish,
In a pressure cooker,
A task so simple,
Made so time bound,
Making me wonder if a lunatic he is indeed!

Sorry I feel for his daughter,
For she loves food,
But being bad at cooking,
She will have to tolerate,
The height of insanity,
Her father possesses,
And the chaos he is capable of creating!

For not even a five-year old will make,
Maggi in a pressure cooker,
Read the instructions,
Is the best advice I can give,
For I, myself am unaware of how Maggi is made!!

P.S: My body is in bad health. My mind is messed up. I can see how this reflects in my writing. Please bear with me for a couple of days, till I bounce back with good health!
This poem is fiction for the following reasons:
* I am a good cook.
* My dad is an amazing cook.
* I wrote this poem on 07th November, 2009. Please don't throw bricks at me after reading this poem; I was a kid back then!

Till I regain my sensibility,


06 August, 2012

Blogathon Post #5: An article that I love, read and reread as often as possible!

Life Without Labels: How to Rediscover the World


“Everything, a bird, a tree, a simple stone, and certainly a human being, is ultimately unknowable”
 – Eckhart Tolle

Life is a miracle. And yet so many of us have become deadened to this simple idea. We mistakenly believe that because we know the word for items – a bird, a tree, a stone, a human being, etc – that we actually know these items. Nothing could be further from the truth. Even the most common everyday items hold unfathomable depth, which is why Eckhart Tolle says that they are ultimately unknowable.
Here is a test: stop reading this for a moment and take a look at your surroundings. Now, when you were looking around did you fully appreciate what was in front of your eyes? If, for example, you are sitting in your living room did you notice the details of the furniture? Did you consider the technology that makes your plasma television possible? Or, did you quickly scan your eyes around across the room and, in doing so, subconsciously attaching a label to each item (eg “chair”, “television”, etc)?
Most of us would have done the latter. And in doing so, we have covered up the mystery of life with a label. Of course this is pretty harmless in the simple example given. But consider for a moment if this is the way in which we always see the world. As Tolle says in his book A New Earth: “the quicker you are in attaching verbal or mental labels to things, people, or situations, the more shallow and lifeless your reality becomes, and the more deadened you become to reality, the miracle of life that continuously unfolds within and around you.”

Why “Rediscover”?

You may have noticed that I used the word “rediscover”, rather than “discover”, in the title of this article. The reason for this is that once, when you were a young child, you wouldn’t have covered up with world with words and labels. This is something you learned to do.
In many ways, living without labels is about seeing the world as a young child would. I have a 16 month old son, and I always find it fascinating to watch him play. Items that I usually don’t give a second thought to – a shoe, a plastic container, the television remote – fascinate him. He doesn’t simply attach a label to these items and quickly move on to something else. Instead he will pick them up, look at them intently and turn them over continuously in his hands. Tolle writes: “when you look at it or hold it and let it be without imposing a word or mental label on it, a sense of awe, of wonder, arrives within you.”
Another one of my heroes, Robin Sharma, once said: “children come to us more highly evolved than adults to teach us the lessons we need to learn.” I find a lot of truth in this comment. So if you find yourself struggling to appreciate the miracle that is life, take time to study children and learn from their natural wisdom.

Art, Science and Nature

Perhaps the best way to experience what I am writing about in this article is to go for a walk in nature. Don’t bother trying to identify what type of birds or trees you come across. In fact, try to avoid using the labels “bird” and “tree” at all. Instead, just be present in the moment and soak up the sights, sounds and smell of Mother Nature.
When we can begin to stop imposing labels, even the most ordinary of everyday items can regain their newness and freshness. If you want proof of this, think of how some of the world’s great artists – eg Van Gogh or Vermeer – approached the world. Vermeer, best known for his painting Girl With Pearl Earing, specialized in domestic interior scenes of ordinary life. Van Gogh was able to make ordinary items – eg the shoes below – come alive in his paintings.


Another way to begin to experience the depth of everyday items is to appreciate the science or technology behind them. In his book The Pleasure of Finding Things Out, Richard Feyman writes:
“I have a friend who’s an artist, and he sometimes takes a view which I don’t agree with. He’ll hold up a flower and say, ‘Look how beautiful it is,’ and I’ll agree. But then he’ll say, ‘I, as an artist, can see how beautiful a flower is. But you, as a scientist, take it all apart and it becomes dull.’
I think he’s kind of nutty. […] There are all kinds of interesting questions that come from a knowledge of science, which only adds to the excitement and mystery and awe of a flower. It only adds. I don’t understand how it subtracts.”
As a final thought, the following is a quote from Buddha that relates to this topic:
“If we could see the miracle of a single flower clearly, our whole life would change.”


Peter writes about how to enjoy life at The Change Blog.
Images by Hamed Saber and Aussiegall.

P.S: I am unwell, as I have fever, cold and headache after a very very long and hard day at college. But I did not want to miss a day of my bloagathon. My drafts was empty and I was not in a state of mind to write, so I decided to post my favorite article that I visit, revisit, read and reread! :)