30 May, 2012

Regret or Rejoice?

I've been having one hell of a tough week. I'm going through rough times, but I'm pretty sure that I'll come out as a polished diamond. I love hope. I love faith. I love optimism. They keep me alive and help me look forward to good times.
I hate not being understood. I hate not knowing why I'm doing what I'm doing. I hate failure. I hate not being to accomplish everything with ease. I hate my strained relationship with my mom. I hate it when my loved ones can't relate to my emotions. I hate it when the world dwells on my faults. I hate not being appreciated when I feel I deserve it.

I'm not my true self right now. But I really wanted to update my blog. I was itching to post something. I had a totally different concept and idea to write about, but I need time to think it through, experience it, live it and then share with you all.

When you fail, do you regret or rejoice? There's a quote that's stuck with me through this week of failures.

"For everything you have missed, you have gained something else.
And for everything you gain, you lose something else.
It is about your outlook towards life. You can either REGRET or REJOICE."

I love how music has the ability to heal. I hate how people can't tell me my faults at my face. I love how I can relate to the protagonist in my book. I hate how lonely I feel now. I love how I have a roof above my head and all luxuries that I can dream of. I hate how much we complicate life. I love how the simple things in life make me smile. I hate how failure makes one seem small in their eyes. I love how I can bury and camouflage pain with a smile on my face. I hate how pretense makes me feel disgusted. I love the person I am. But I hate not being me.

I'm sorry about this weird post. But I just had to get it out.

I hate my temper. I hate how a couple of words flare me up. I hate how rude I can be when angry. But I don't want to be the kind of person who doesn't react to things that are unacceptable to me. What do I do?

I've lost focus of things in my life. I've lost sight of my dreams, goals, ambitions and aspirations. I think it's time to take a step back and take a look at life. I want to know where things changed and what made things changed. I want it back to normal. I want to be me.

“Always be a first rate version of yourself and not a second rate version of someone else.”
― Judy Garland

“About all you can do in life is be who you are. Some people will love you for you. Most will love you for what you can do for them, and some won't like you at all.”
― Rita Mae Brown

“When you are content to be simply yourself and don't compare or compete, everyone will respect you.”
― Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching

“The easiest thing to be in the world is you. The most difficult thing to be is what other people want you to be. Don't let them put you in that position.”
― Leo Buscaglia

“If you believe in peace, act peacefully; if you believe in love, acting lovingly; if you believe every which way, then act every which way, that's perfectly valid - but don't go out trying to sell your beliefs to the system. You end up contradicting what you profess to believe in, and you set a bum example. If you want to change the world, change yourself.”
― Tom Robbins

“One's philosophy is not best expressed in words; it is expressed in the choices one makes. In the long run, we shape our lives, and we shape ourselves. The process never ends until we die. And the choices we make are ultimately our own responsibility”
― Eleanor Roosevelt

“Be yourself. Be true to that, to your heart. Patience. See what happens if you step back instead of bounding forward.”
― Nora Roberts
Beautiful quotes about being yourself.
Thanks for reading till here. :) I appreciate it. :)
I will try to be on my feet again and till then take care!
Now, do you regret or rejoice about what you've lost?


  1. Abinaya dear, I didn't know you were so bogged down with problems! I tried calling you up twice, but there was no response. I thought you were busy with your finals. What is bothering you so much? Hope you get better soon! Call me up anytime you want to talk.


    1. Abhilash! Sorry about not answering your calls. I tried calling you back, but your phone was switched off.
      E-mailed you. Will call you soon.


  2. Kiara Michelle PayneMay 30, 2012 at 8:45 PM

    AK! I hope you get well soon, mentally and emotionally. Let me know if there is anything I can do.
    Most of the time, I regret my failures. This is because I never knew there was another side where we could rejoice about things that went wrong.
    Sorry for keeping in touch. Was down with typhoid.

    Love you.

    1. Kiara, nice to get back in touch. I hope your doing well now.
      Thank you for the concern. :)
      Rejoice and failures don't go together, do they? Let me know if you are able to relate them.


  3. what happened love..hope to have a talk soon, take care:)

  4. hey..I love reading your blog, you write very well..I know you are going through a bad phase, but my piece of advice..Always remember, this too shall pass..
    all the best, you are a indeed a strong girl, since you are able to put your thoughts down. many a time we are worried/upset, but we dont write down the problem and then it starts eating us up!

    1. Thank you for this lovely comment :)
      So true, if we can find out where problem lies, it will be easier to sort it out!

  5. In total agreement with everyone above and with the quotes you shared. Sometimes it's just a phase we're passing through.

    Also, while reading I felt like I'm reading about the present state of my own mind! "I love the person I am. But I hate not being me." u know it's amazing if you KNOW what you're feeling bad about. It helps better in the recovery process.

    You're smart and I know you'll be feeling better already! :) Good luck!

    PS- got ur mail. Will reply in a few minutes!

    1. And a bad phase indeed.. :(
      So true, if we can pinpoint what is bothering us, we are pretty much ready to tackle our problems. :)

      Thank you Ashna. :)
      Will reply in a couple of minutes!