07 June, 2012

Treasure Yourself More Than Your Relationships. :)

How many times have you searched for treasures in life? How many times have you treasured that car or gift that you bought or received? How many treasured moments have you made in life? How many times have you bashed yourself up just cause you hurt your treasured friend? How many times have you let yourself down just because things weren't the way you wanted them to be? Was it all worth it?
A lot of times we let ourselves down and our self-esteem drop low just to convince ourselves that the other person is worth our love. This might essentially not be the case. The recipient of your love might not be perfect or even upto the character or value mark, that a person should set for oneself. Yet, we are willing to give up on our character and take all the blame upon us.
Relationships often aren't what they seem to be. They aren't the path of roses that we expect it to be. They aren't the treasure that we hope to find in life. They aren't the sweetest mangoes one will devour. But they are what keeps life alive. While it is true that one should give their hundred percent in a relationship, it definitely shouldn't be at the cost of your happiness.
Relationships should make one feel happy and help live a fulfilling life. They shouldn't come at the expense of your peace, dreams or goals. Inspite of whatever you read or see, relationships will not complete you. It is only you who will complete yourself. They will compliment you though and trust me, though there are certain people who will stick with you despite all odds, not every relationship will. Blood is thicker than water. Invest in relationships that are worth it.
I know a person who lives in a relationship that slowly kills her everyday. I can see her slowly lose her individuality and see stress lines replace her dimpled face. I can see her put up through all odds just cause she's thinks it'll be worth it in the end. Happiness is in the journey, not the destination. I can see her being abused in the relationship. I feel pity, I wish I could make her see it. But she has chosen to close her eyes to all these signs and live her life. Subtle emotional abuse. She puts herself down in her eyes saying she isn't upto his wishes (read demands). Is it worth it?
I have fulfilling relationships in my life. When I feel bogged down in a relationship and I have valid reasons to feel so, I walk out of it. I'm often seen as fickle-minded and stone hearted for that. If a relationship doesn't make my life better or help me evolve as a better person, why keep it?
Breaking up. It's something that's as common as finding oil in the Gulf. But why? What goes wrong? Lack of communication, trust and a willingness to understand? Why aren't two people who were willing to do anything to woo each other and fall in love not willing to do anything to keep the relationship? Is it due to eye candy attraction or fear of commitment? Is it due to what the media portrays? What is missing?
Why are more people unwilling to break out of abusive relationships, but willing to break up for silly reasons? Relationships are worth it only and only if, there is mutual trust, love, understanding, compassion and a desire to evolve into a better person. The key word is UNCONDITIONAL. I know of relationships where one of them invests everything and the other is happy being the receiver. Such relationships don't thrive. It's a two-way road. A give and take policy. A bank account with deposits and withdrawals.
Coming back to treasure. I treasure my relationship with my parents, my sister, my friends and family. They are the chosen ones. The ones who would never hurt me deliberately and would do anything to see me become a better person. They are relationships where criticism is valued as much as appreciation. They are the ones where the bland truth is told and not sugar coated with lies. They are the ones which understand my fall-backs and value my strengths. They try to help me break out of bad habits and help me TREASURE my goodness. They bring out my goofy and playful side, make me feel blessed and happy and TREASURE life more. THEY MAKE ME REALIZE I AM THE REAL TREASURE.

That's exactly what relationships are all about. As much as you might treasure them and love them with all your heart, as much you would be truthful to them and give them all you can, it only makes sense if you TREASURE yourself, your dignity, your individuality and your freedom as much as you TREASURE the relationship. It only makes sense if the other person TREASURES his identity and himself, as much he values the relationship with you. So first treat yourself right, value yourself well and keep your self-esteem high. Don't let anyone mar that about you. You are the biggest and most valuable of all TREASURES. :)

Your relationship with others is worth it only if your relationship with yourself is intact. After all, it's relationships that make life worthwhile! Don't lose out on the happiness they are capable of bringing. :)


8 comments:

  1. So true,
    We should always value our self first in any thing. Why be in such a relationship which harms rather than help us grow.
    Its a very good point Abinaya, loved reading your post.

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    1. Thank you very much for your lovely comment Akhil. :)

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  2. hey.. visiting your blog for the first time and let me tell you i TOTALLY LOVED this post! I can so relate to it!"If a relationship doesn't make my life better or help me evolve as a better person, why keep it?" .. DITTO!! Enjoyed reading your post.Keep writing.

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    1. Thank you Bhavika! :)
      I hope you enjoy reading all that I post. :)

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  3. hey.. wonderful post.. really.. it taught me so many things with so many simple words.. i also visited your blog first time.. good work.. there are moments when u really need kick to move yourself forward.. your post did that work for me today..thanks a lot.. god bless you.. :)

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    1. Thank you Meera for your kind words! :)

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  4. Hi.. your article has been an eye opener for me at this point of my life.. though I had realized it before I can take that step now.. thanks for writing a wonderful article .. Keep Going

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    1. Thank you! I'm glad my work was of help to you :)
      I really wish you could sign in and leave a comment? :)
      Thanks for visiting my blog. :)

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